Thursday, December 17, 2015

Fiction and Parody: The Legend of the Foba Noodle

*not my photo

I was skimming through the net on food groups that are good for my blood type because age I feel is knocking on my doorstep somewhat and I chanced upon this list of carbohydrates which I could consume without adverse effects for people like me

1. potato
2. rice
3. white pasta
and (wait for it)
4. “Foba” Noodles.

“Foba” Noodles. I pondered for a moment and wondered what the origin of the Foba Noodle might have been. Wondered a bit more, and I conjured in my mind on how it may have come to be...

Cue in whirling sound effects of a flashback...

During the mid 1930's, Soba Noodle Sr., a well established noodle in the Far East had a brief dalliance with an Italian restaurant staple named Farfalle. Nine months thereafter, Soba Sr. sired an offspring but this was unexpected. By all accounts though, this youngling was a noodle through and through. However, this placed the entire realm of cuisine from Europe to Asia in an unwieldy state because up to this point, clear demarcations between noodle and pasta were in place in the 2 continents. Not to mention, Soba Sr. was a very married man who had a robust young son, Soba Jr., who was the heir apparent of the Soba Dynasty and who is in fact, what we know today as THE Soba Noodle.

Foba's mother Farfalle, named him thus, and was never the sort to dwell on the uncomfortable tidings that life brings. She did her best to raise the young one not to be bitter or angry on the account of his circumstance. Foba, for his part, learned and accepted this very well. Veritably, to help balance this most awkward position, he even considered taking up another vocation like farming or soap-making so as to permit his half brother  Soba Jr. to be make the imprint as the one and the only, preeminent Soba Noodle. On the other hand though, Foba could not deny that buckwheat and semolina ran through his veins and it would be against his very nature and existence if he didn't serve or be served as a noodle.

For this, Foba, made a promise to maintain honor between him and his family, making a pact that as a noodle, he would only materialize in the country or island side, the highways, byways and the hedges, not draw attention to himself and to travel further on to even more recessed towns if he was beginning to obtain some sort of following.

Foba then grew and lived to do as he said, with his hood and his effects upon his skinny frame, sojourning in places, being of good use, being true to his word to his family but not at the expense of his nature, part noodle, part pasta, Japanese, Italian, sometimes rigid, other times malleable, he prevailed good and edible.

And so the legend of the Foba Noodle lived on albeit only mostly in mysterious villages and hamlets. We do hear about him from time to time, and with the arrival of internet, whispers about him became more audible. But is the Foba noodle real? or is it just a myth? A mispronunciation? a misspelling? You decide for yourself. As for me, apparently, The Foba noodle is one of the carbs people with my blood type can glutton-ize without deleterious consequences.